Miscarriage – How to Deal With Loss?
Perfect waiting stages (medfemina.pl/prenatal-care/) for a child is of course: two lines on a pregnancy test, the first ultrasound tests and joy while listening to the beating of a tiny heart, subsequent standard tests up to the expected date of delivery to welcome a new, little human to the world. But what if this chain of events is suddenly interrupted?
Statistics show that approx 10-15% (https://portalstatystyczny.pl/martwe-urodzenia-i-poronienia-w-polsce/) of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and the risk of miscarriage in the first pregnancy is 5%. How to cope with this difficult time? How Can I Work Through the Bereavement Process? Why and when to visit a specialist?
What are the stages of bereavement: (https://psychologia.edu.pl/czytelnia/132-strata/1473-ku-odzyskaniu-sensu-o-przezywaniu-straty-bliskiej-osoby-malgorzata-kowalewska.html)
- FIRST stage – shock, confusion, numbness – occur immediately after the loss.. At this stage of mourning, feelings of regret, despair, anger and fear dominate.
- Stage TWO – disorganization, denial of the situation, disbelief. At this stage, we are accompanied by a feeling of emptiness.
- Stage THREE – proper mourning. It is characterized by long periods of sadness and loneliness. Irritability, crying, feelings of helplessness, powerlessness may also occur. This stage of mourning can last up to several years
- FOURTH stage – relief. Feelings of regret and sadness appear less frequently. We adapt to the new situation and return to social life. We see the present and the future, but there are also positive memories.
- Stage FIVE – we recognize the loss and slowly return to everyday life. At this stage, new goals and joy in life emerge.
Of course, how and when to go through the stages of mourning is an individual matter. It is important to achieve acceptance of the new state in the shortest possible time. Let us remember that each person experiences regret, anger or despair differently and the recovery process cannot be accelerated by force. It is important not to suppress emotions and allow yourself to feel the states we are experiencing at the moment.
How can you help yourself in mourning?
- Let’s share our feelings.
Honest conversation is the key to success at every stage of bereavement. It does not have to be a specialist, it can be someone close – a friend, family member … but also a doctor or a priest. Anyone who will listen with kindness.
- Let us use the help of others.
It is a difficult time. A time of weakness – mental and physical. If everyday duties are associated with difficulties, do not be afraid to ask your loved ones for help: shopping, cleaning or picking up your child from school.
- Let’s look for support groups.
Crisis Intervention Centres, Clinics or Therapy Centres? These places guarantee meetings in an atmosphere of understanding, empathetic listening, compassion, and can prove helpful in the period of experiencing loss.
Let time heal all wounds. Take time to experience mourning. Familiarising yourself with the stages of grief, as developed by psychologists, will help you to put into words the feelings and states you are experiencing at any given time.